During the long summer vacation, many children stayed on their mobile phones, either watching videos or playing games, or sat still for hours just by looking at their tablets, which made parents anxious. Parents are not only worried that their children’s addiction to electronic products will affect their eyesight and disrupt their work and rest patterns, but they are also worried that their children are addicted to the virtual world and neglect learning and interaction in real life. Actually, electronics are not a deluge beast, the key lies in scientific management.
1. Rules agreed in advance, parents set a good example
In the management of electronic product use for summer kids, two points are critical.
One is to discuss the rules of use together.
The work recommends taking place before the start of the holidays, where the whole family, including children, get involved and sit down to deliberate together on rules for the use of electronics. Specifically, it is necessary to determine the total duration of use of the electronic product, the length of a single use, and the period during which use is allowed, for example, it can be agreed to be 3—5 pm.
During the discussion, parents should fully listen to their children’s opinions and understand their needs in terms of use, and at the same time provide scientific guidance.
After parents and children reach a consensus, they must form a simple “Electronic Product Use Convention”. All family members were required to sign the convention and could even press their fingerprints, which added to the sense of ritual and made the convention more binding.
To be clear, this written convention is not an icy ban but a symbol of family cooperation. It can provide children with a sense of boundaries and security, reduce daily conflicts caused by the use of electronic products, and also allow subsequent execution to be followed. In addition, it is important to review and discuss the implementation of the Convention on a regular basis, so that the conventions can be updated in the light of the actual situation.
Second, parents should lead by example.
The child’s learning behavior is acquired in large part through imitation, requiring parents to be role models when their child controls the use of electronics.
“Screenless time” The specific time period needs to be clarified, which can be family dinner time or family leisure time after 9 pm. During these time periods, all family members should proactively mute or store their phones, and devote themselves to current activities, such as concentrating on meals, communicating with family members, reading, or playing screenless games.
It’s important that parents lead by example, and when children see that their parents are also following the rules, putting down their phones to focus on spending time with their families or doing other meaningful things, they will understand the value of the rules more deeply and will be more willing to cooperate.
These “screenless times” are very important for cultivating children’s concentration and maintaining family emotional connections.
2. Participate in parent-child games to improve the quality of companionship
When it comes to managing your child’s electronics use, mere restrictions often tend to trigger them into confrontational emotions, and parents may wish to offer more attractive alternatives on their own initiative.
Parents should put more effort into designing, organizing or participating in offline parent-child activities that stimulate their children’s interest , for example, you can cooperate with your children to complete creative handicrafts, perform family script killing or board games, hold small family sports games, cook delicious food together, or carry out outdoor adventures, such as hiking, cycling, camping, etc., and you can also organize reading and sharing sessions.
To be truly fun, these activities allow children to gain a sense of accomplishment and belonging and have instant fun while participating. These positive feelings are effective in making up for the “blank” space after the child leaves the screen, while satisfying their psychological needs. When life in the real world is colorful enough, children will naturally reduce their dependence on the virtual world, and their management of electronic products will be able to change from passive “blocking” to active “sparing”, and this process is also a good way to discover children’s interests and hobbies. Chance.
Children indulge in electronics, sometimes because of the absence of parent companionship or the low quality of companionship in real life. High-quality companionship is the cornerstone that guides children to avoid overuse of electronics.
It’s natural for parents to get home from work and feel tired, but the key is whether they can quickly adjust their state and turn their limited time together into focused, engaged and distraction-free interactive time.
Even if it is only 20 to 30 minutes a day, just wholeheartedly chat with your children, tell jokes, play non-electronic games they like for a while, read a book, or even do some housework together, so that the children can feel noticed, accepted and loved.
3. Explore psychological needs and find the source of the problem
Want to guide children effectively, provided you understand them first. Parents should take the initiative to find out what exactly their children are doing, what they pay attention to, and what they like when using electronic products. Parents should not only know if their child is watching short videos or playing games, but also use a curious mind to learn about the web pages or platforms that their children frequently browse, rather than criticize them at every turn. Children’s excessive use of electronic products is often just an external manifestation, and there are often unmet psychological needs behind it.
Parents should usually observe and analyze their children’s behavior more:
- If a child is addicted to a certain online game, you might as well think about whether they are seeking a sense of collaboration and belonging among teammates in the game, which may be a manifestation of social needs;
- If a child is particularly obsessed with build-up games, perhaps it’s because such games satisfy their creative desires and give them a sense of control, which is related to the need for a sense of accomplishment;
- When children frequently use shopping apps, be aware of whether this reflects their pursuit of a sense of material possession, or their desire to be recognized by their peers in this way, which involves a sense of value and a need to belong;
- If children can’t stop watching short videos, tell them whether they want to relieve stress and relax through instant stimulation, or whether they want to imitate Internet celebrities to gain attention, or because they feel bored and empty and need to find the meaning of life.
It’s important to figure out these deep-seated motivations to help parents find the root of the problem, rather than just blaming their children for this “too long with electronics”.
Parents can also be moderately involved , for example, ask children to teach themselves to play games they like, let them show off the works of their favorite video creators, or listen carefully to their adventures in games. Such listening and participation will not only eliminate the sense of opposition between parents and children and build trust, but also more accurately grasp children’s behavioral patterns and inner thoughts in the virtual world, providing useful information for subsequent guidance.
4. Use the principle of “good subtraction” and goal-oriented management
In the management of the use of electronic products by children, the principle of subtraction deserves attention, at the heart of which is the reduction of the mandatory association between electronic products and “good behavior”.
Many parents fall for a myth: The opportunity to get game time and watch videos will be regarded as “prizes” for children to do homework quickly, get high scores in exams, and do housework. For example, it is often said “you can play with your mobile phone for half an hour after finishing your homework quickly”.
This practice would inadvertently allow electronics to be over-sanctified, further reinforcing its appeal to the child, making it the most desired “reward” in the child’s mind.
This will not only allow children to develop a utilitarian mentality “of doing for play” that weakens their intrinsic motivation to take responsibility for themselves, but also create a cycle ——where children are willing to act only if electronics are used as bait. This increases the difficulty of managing your child’s use of electronics later on. Therefore, parents should strive to direct “rewards” to non-electronic fields, such as additional parent-child interaction time, opportunities to go to parks or museums, books or sports equipment that their children crave, or simple praise, hugs and some small privileges, such as letting their children decide what to eat for dinner.
During the holidays, the child’s needs, state and environment may change. If it is too rigidly prescribed “only 1 hour of play per day” or “use must end at 7 pm”, it can easily cause friction and conflict between parents and children. “Dynamic change, random reinforcement” Means that management strategies should be flexible.
Parents can take a “goal-oriented” rather than a “point-in-time-oriented” approach. For example, after a child completes the day’s learning tasks, housework, or fully participates in offline family activities with high quality, parents can fine-tune the time of their electronic product use according to the actual situation. The specific length and timing of use can be determined based on the actual situation of the day and the child’s negotiation.
Parents may also adopt “Total control, flexible distribution” According to the “principle”, first stipulate the total amount of entertainment time for electronic products per week during the holidays, such as 10 hours, and then arrange how to use it every day under the supervision of the child’s parents.
This management method not only focuses on the achievement of goals and the guidance of children’s behavior, for example, children get entertainment opportunities after completing corresponding tasks, but also gives children a certain degree of autonomy, allowing them to understand how to manage time, which is conducive to cultivating children’s awareness of self-discipline and making the management method more in line with the actual situation and easier to execute. In effect, the discussion that revolves around the rules governing the use of electronic products is itself about upgrading a child’s management skills.
Disclaimer: All photos used in this blog are generated by artificial intelligence (AI). These images are original creations produced by AI technology and do not depict real people, places, or events. They are provided for illustrative purposes only and cannot be claimed or used as real photographs.
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